HEAD START®

Caring for Children with
Chronic Conditions

Training Guides for the Head Start Learning Community

Table of Contents | Preface | Introduction | Module 1 | Module 2 | Module 3
| Continuing Professional Development | Resources

MODULE 2: Activity 2 - Assert Yourself

Module 2 | Activity 1 | Activity 2 | Activity 3 | Key to Activity 3 | Activity 4 | Activity 5 | Activity 6 | Activity 7 | Next Steps

Purpose:

This activity helps participants develop skills in being assertive. This activity is especially helpful for family advocates and home visitors who can assist families that have children with chronic conditions to advocate for their needs.

For this activity you will need:

• Handout M: Tips For Assertive Behavior
  
• Handout N: Tips For Working With The System

Step 1:

To begin this activity ask:

• What does it mean to be "assertive?"
  
• How is being assertive different from being passive or being aggressive?
  
  Review the following definitions:
  
• Assertive behavior: Expressing your feelings, opinions, needs, and rights clearly and firmly while respecting those of others.
  
• Passive behavior: Failing to express your feelings, opinions, needs, and rights, and allowing them to be discounted or ignored.
  
• Aggressive behavior: Expressing your feelings, opinions, needs, and rights in a hostile or coercive manner that fails to respect the feelings, opinions, needs, and rights of others. This may include verbal or physical intimidation.

Step 2:

Have the participant think of a situation in her life where she would like to be more assertive (e.g., interactions with health care or other service providers; resolving conflicts with family members or co-workers). Make sure it is something that she feels comfortable discussing.

Ask the participant to describe the situation in which she would like to be more assertive. Ask:

• What would you want to accomplish in the situation?
  
• What makes it hard for you to be assertive in this situation?

Step 3:

Review Handout M: Tips For Assertive Behavior, and Handout N: Tips For Working With The System. Ask:

• How could you apply some of these suggestions to help you be more assertive in your situation?

Step 4:

Help the participant prepare for the interaction. Ask:

• How do you want to express your feelings, opinions, needs, and rights clearly and firmly while respecting those of the other party?
  
• What questions do you anticipate needing to ask?
  
• What response do you anticipate?
  
• How might you feel if the person responds in a passive way? In an aggressive way?
  
• Are there predictable patterns of interaction that might get in the way of your being assertive?

Brainstorm some strategies.

Step 5:

Role play the interaction with the participant being assertive. Have the participant make plans for when to address the real situation. Schedule a coaching meeting to follow-up afterwards.

Step 6:

At the follow-up meeting, discuss how the interaction went. Congratulate the participant on any steps toward being assertive. Ask:

• How did it feel?
  
• Did you use any assertiveness strategies you had developed in the role-play?
  
• What was difficult about trying to be assertive?
  
• How did the person respond?
  
• What might you like to do differently next time?

 
Points to Consider:

• Being assertive may or may not lead to the outcome that you desire. However, even if you don't get what you wanted, you can feel satisfied that you did everything possible to express your needs clearly and respectfully.
  
• People who tend to be aggressive may find that being assertive can be more effective because the other person will feel respected and be able to listen without becoming afraid, defensive, or angry in return.
  
• Is assertive behavior interpreted differently when it...
  
  – comes from men rather than from women?
  
  – comes from someone wearing a suit as opposed to someone in jeans and a t-shirt?
  
  – occurs between members of the same cultural group rather than between individuals from different cultures?
  
  – occurs between individuals with equivalent power in the situation as opposed to between individuals where one has more power?